The Most Confusing GameShow Ever
by Berserker Nightwitch
Summary: A gameshow that no one wants to win! Or lose, depending on how you look at it. The prize: Akito.
1. Meet the Contestants

Title: The Most Confusing Game-Show Ever  
  
A/N: Hello everyone! Unlike my other two stories, this will be co-written with my good friend Neko. And in case you forgot, I'm Nightwitch. Neko isn't signed up with ff.net so if you want to write to her, send to me and I'll forward it. As for all the other stuff, you'll see. I'll be writing this chappie, and Neko will write the next one and after that, well . . . we'll see if we still have any interest in this idea! ^_^ BTW, don't let the format scare you away!  
  
Night: Hello and welcome to the Date-Rape game! The game-show where the winning, or losing depending on how you look at it . . .  
  
Neko: Get on with it . . .  
  
Night: Right. Anyway, where the final contestant gets date-raped by . . . *drum roll* AKITO SOHMA!!!  
  
(spotlight on Akito who is sitting in a corner)  
  
Akito: Why am I here?  
  
Neko: It's the result of an hour of doing nothing but sitting in a circle poking friends.  
  
Kyo (next to Neko): Why am I not with the other contestants?  
  
Neko: I love you too much to risk you being with Akito.  
  
Haru: And me?  
  
Night (arms around Haru's neck, piggy-back style): I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!  
  
Haru: So . . . why am I not changing?  
  
Neko and Night: Special potion.  
  
Neko: Or you could call it magic, or special powers.  
  
Night: Or one of the perks of being an all-knowing, all-powerful authoress!  
  
Neko: *sweatdrop* Er . . . Shall we move on? Good. Contestants, please state your name and something you like to do!  
  
(spotlight in previously unnoticed contestant's corner)  
  
Contestant #1: Hi! I'm Shigure and I like to annoy my editor, Mit-chan!  
  
Contestant #2: Oh, Gure-kun, that was beautiful!  
  
Night (clears throat): Keep it moving.  
  
Contestant #2: Right, I'm the wonderful, beautiful, talented, (stops at glare from Neko) Ayame. I like to make clothes.  
  
Contestant #7: And brag.  
  
Ayame: Yuki, that wasn't nice!  
  
Contestant #3: My name is Hatori, and I like snow.  
  
Contestant #4: My name is Momiji Sohma and I like to sing.  
  
Kyo: Don't you even you little brat!  
  
Contestant #5: KYO!!! MY LOOOOVE!!!!  
  
Night: Heehee, we know what she likes now.  
  
Neko: He's mine!!  
  
Contestant #5: Oh yeah, I'm Kagura. Kagura Sohma, that's my name.  
  
Contestant #6: I'm Tohru Honda and I love my mother.  
  
Yuki: I'm Yuki, and I like . . . Can we come back to this?  
  
Neko: No.  
  
Yuki: I don't like wearing dresses. Does that work?  
  
Night: I guess it'll have to.  
  
Contestant #8: I'm Uo. If I have to be date-raped by that sickly little freak, there had better be a lot of alcohol involved. (looks at Akito) A LOT of alcohol. And at least 20 lbs of saké.  
  
Contestant #9: My name is Saki Hanajima. You do not want to know what I like.  
  
Night: Weirdo.  
  
Contestant #10: . . .  
  
Neko: Hello?  
  
Contestant #10: . . .  
  
Night: Oh, that's Kisa. She doesn't talk much.  
  
Kisa: . . . (looks at contestant #11)  
  
Contestant #11: I'm Hiro, and I hate this stupid game-show. What kind of idiot idea was this anyway?  
  
Neko: *growls* You better take that back!  
  
Night: *sniffles* That's mean.  
  
Kisa: You . . . you should apologize.  
  
Hiro: Sorry.  
  
Neko: Moving on!  
  
Contestant #12: I'M SO SOORY I DIDN'T STATE MY NAME SOONER! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER MADE YOU ASK!! I'M NOT WORTHY OF BEING IN YOUR SHOW!!!  
  
Haru: Ritsu, that's a really lame way of trying to get out of the show.  
  
Ritsu: I'M SO SOORRRRRYYYYYYYYY-  
  
(Shigure pokes him with a stick and he faints)  
  
Night: And finally, last but not least, Contestant #13.  
  
Contestant #13: I'm Rin and if I end up with that freak, I'll kill all of you myself!  
  
Neko: Not if I kill you first!  
  
(Neko and Rin start fighting about who will die first)  
  
Night: Thank you and tune in next time to see what happens.  
  
A/N: If you have any suggestions for what they should be asked, or if you just like the story, please review! All reviews are appreciated! 


	2. First Question

Night: And we're back from commercial break!!  
  
Neko: No we weren't, we were watching Ruruoni Kenshin DVD's in my room for a couple of hours.  
  
Night: NO WE WEREN'T!!!!  
  
Haru: I love that temper!!  
  
Night: How'd you get out of your leash??  
  
Haru: I chewed through.  
  
Neko: Anyway . . . and here is the first round of the Date-Rape game!  
  
Night: YAY!!  
  
Kyo: **looks at cue card** Now. . . here. . . is . . . ah, no wait . . . now here is the next . . . I can't read that!!!  
  
Neko: JUST READ THE %&(#)&^ THING!!  
  
Kyo: MAKE ME!!!  
  
Neko: **makes a funny puppy dog face while pointing Kagura. Do it . . .  
  
Night: We'll call in your almost daddy!!  
  
Yuki: Hehe, stupid cat . . .  
  
Neko: **glare that scares the poo out of Yuki**  
  
Yuki: **keeps comments to himself**  
  
Kyo: You shut the stupid rat up!!  
  
Neko: **death glare at Kyo** YOU STOP INSTIGATING.  
  
Night: Yes ma'am!! (à la Kenshin from Ruruoni Kenshin episode 6 or 7 cuz I can't remember.)  
  
Shigure: Can we play the game now!! I have to go the bathroom!! I think I'm going to wet my pants!!  
  
Night: You should have gone before we started!!  
  
Haru: **standing behind her** **nod nod**  
  
Rin: Get started or I will kill you all . . . ((a/n - I don't know diddly about her.so excuse my writing))  
  
Neko: . . .  
  
Kyo: Here is the first . . .question. Gosh I can't read your writing Neko.  
  
Neko: **Glare** Your going to sleep on the couch again.  
  
Kyo: Where did I sleep in the first place!?!  
  
Haru: **grabs cue card** I read chicken scratch perfectly!  
  
Night: **mouth full of Ritz crackers that came out of no where** Mph mph mmmmph..  
  
Neko: .anyway.  
  
Haru: Here is the question.  
  
Yuki and Ayame at same time: Finally.  
  
Haru: What is the four-legged creature that follows Vash from Trigun around, yet serves no apparent purpose in the plot itself . . .?  
  
Night: I hear SEAGULLS!!  
  
A/N - Now this is where YOU come in!! Send in a review choosing who you think will get this question right. After five reviews (for this chapter), we'll post up the winner and next chapter. People guessing correctly will be mentioned in the next chapters!! Yay!! This is Neko, signing out.  
  
O/A/N (Other Author's Note) - Sorry it took so long. Someone **glares at Neko** got lazy and didn't send me the story even though I was on the phone with her when she finished writing it a WEEK AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, ranting done. Please review! ^_^ 


	3. Second Question

A/N: Hate to break it to you, people, but no one got it right! So just to clarify: You are sending in guesses on who will get it right, not who you think will get it. Don't worry, though, you'll have another chance later to try again. The people who answer the question correctly have been pre- determined. Okay, on with the story!  
  
~*~*~  
  
Night: And we're back again! Jeez people, it sure took a long time to get the reviews in. Now, who knows what the four-legged creature is that follows Vash from Trigun around, yet serves no apparent purpose?  
  
Neko: Waiting . . . waiting . . .  
  
BEEP  
  
Night: Um . . . Kisa! What is the creature?  
  
Kisa: . . . It's a cat.  
  
Neko: Ding, ding! We have a winner. Congratulations Kisa, you're one step closer to winning!  
  
Night: Or losing. Depending on how you look at it . . .  
  
Rin: Can we get on with it?  
  
Akito: Yes, it's time to leave. **stand sup to leave**  
  
Neko: SIT!!!!!!!  
  
All: Yes Ma'am! (see previous chapter ^_^)  
  
Haru: It would be better to ask the next question, though.  
  
Kyo: Yeah, what he said.  
  
Night: Fine, fine. Later.  
  
Hiro: Do we have to be here?  
  
Neko: Of course not. We could just send you off with Akito right now! ?  
  
Night: And those creepy old scientist guys from Gundam Wing!  
  
Neko: Yes, everything seems to relate back to Gundam Wing/AC now . . .  
  
Night: Only 'cause it's fun!  
  
Neko: . . . **sweatdrop**  
  
Kyo: Do me and Haru gotta stay here? It's pretty boring . . .  
  
Haru: I don't know . . . If we try to leave, they might make us two of the contestants.  
  
Kagura: No, my love!! They mustn't subject you to this humiliating role!  
  
Neko: Back off Kagura!! **flames in eyes** He's MINE!!!!!!  
  
Haru: Isn't that nice? They're fighting over you. Which do you prefer?  
  
Kyo: Hm . . . Neko's better for my health.  
  
Night: How so?  
  
Kyo: She doesn't throw me through a wall. Or try and break my back. Or hunt me down while trying to shove chocolate down my throat.  
  
Night: True.  
  
Neko: Okay! Let's get on with it! **covered in scratches and clothes are torn** What's the next question?  
  
Haru: Is it still my turn to read it or will Kyo read it since he missed his turn?  
  
Night: You go ahead.  
  
Haru: 'Kay. What is the whole name of the young girl Trowa Barton from Gundam Wing/AC met during Episode Zero? Let me guess, Nightwitch's question?  
  
Night: Yep! Neko got to choose the last one, so I chose that.  
  
Kyo: Isn't Episode Zero a manga?  
  
Neko: Yes.  
  
Kyo: Then how are the reviewers going to know?  
  
Neko: Poor cat. They're not answering the question, they're just trying to guess which of the contestants will get it right.  
  
All: Oh . . .  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N: That's all! Now it's your turn again! If you want to know how this works, please read the beginning Author's Note again. Please review and let us know what you think and who you think will be the one to get it right! Five reviews and we'll post the next chapter! 


	4. Everyone's Leaving Us

A/N: Hi! We're back! Sorry this took so long, but schoolwork + being in three or four different locations this summer =not a lot of time to work on stuff. On with the fic!  
  
Night: Hi, and we're back! Sorry, but no one got the person right this time, either! Now, which of you knows the answer to our last question?  
  
bing  
  
Neko: Hiro! What do you think it is?  
  
Hiro: It's Midii Une, stupid.  
  
Night: I swear, she grows up to become Lady Une!  
  
Neko: . . . Right . . . Anyways . . . That's correct! Now for the next- Akito, where are you going?  
  
(see Akito with many fangirls from the audience on his arms)  
  
Akito: This is the dumbest Game-Show in the world. I refuse to rape someone! Especially one of my cousins! That's just wrong! **shudders**  
  
Neko: You can't leave yet! We're only on the . . . second or third question!  
  
Night: Which question are we on?  
  
Akito: See what I mean? You can't even keep track of how many questions you've asked them!  
  
Night: How many have we asked?  
  
Akito: I fell asleep, I don't know.  
  
Neko: Ha! You weren't paying attention either! . . . Yeah . . . Stupid humans . . .  
  
Night: But you can't leave, Akito!  
  
Akito: Give me one reason to stay!  
  
Night: We'll give you a 75% raise!  
  
Haru: You're paying him?  
  
Kyo: Of course she's not, you stupid cow! She's just trying to make him stay until the end of the game!  
  
Hiro: This is stupid! Can't you keep a few people busy for one episode?  
  
Neko: Hey, we kept them busy for three episodes already! Little brat . . .  
  
Night: Hey, um . . .  
  
Neko: What?  
  
Night: Was anyone watching the prize just now?  
  
Kyo: Akito? No, why?  
  
Night: I think he just ran off to get himself drunk or something.  
  
Yuki: What makes you say that, Miss Nightwitch?  
  
Night: He was mumbling something about a nightclub.  
  
Kureno: NOOOOO!!!! AKITOOOOOO!!!!! (runs off to follow Akito)  
  
Neko: Did anyone even know he was here?  
  
Uo: He was kinda hot . . .  
  
Kyo: Haha! The Yankee's got a crush on the chicken!  
  
Hana: I did notice that he had strange electric signals.  
  
Tohru: Ano . . . Are we going to continue the game now?  
  
Night: (playing with Haru's hair and jewelry while eating Oreo's) Nope!  
  
Rin: Why not?  
  
Neko: Because, the prize and half of the contestants are gone!  
  
(look around the room and see that Rin, Neko, Night, Haru, Kyo, Tohru, and Yuki are all that's left)  
  
Night: It looks like that's it! Thanks for tuning in!  
  
Neko: You make it sound like we were on TV.  
  
Night: We weren't?  
  
Neko: . . . I'm not even going to answer that. 


End file.
